Muslim Online Dating: The Quest for Halal Prince Charming
I have believed in “Happily Ever Afters” for as long as I can remember and as things have become more digital in our lives, I’ve noticed that people are seeking out new ways of meeting their potential spouse. Although often considered an oxymoron, Muslims today frequently turn to Muslim dating apps for this purpose. After hearing a fair share of success stories from people I know, I recently set out to find my own Prince Charming using a renown Muslim app. While dating apps are certainly not for everyone, this post compiles advice for women considering taking the leap and joining the Muslim dating pool in 2023.
1. Understand Your Worth
Before starting your journey, it is important to have a stable relationship with your own self. While online, the stranger you converse with accumulates your worth based on how effectively you convey the value you hold for yourself and your time. If the person you are speaking with gives you uninterested, inappropriate, or staggered responses, they are probably not interested. While many candidates may disappoint, remind yourself of your worth and how wholesome your existing relationships are. Remember, you are looking for treatment on par with your closest friendships, so do not settle for anyone’s half-hearted messages. Instead, focus on people that are curious and eager to learn more about you.
2. Discuss Non-Negotiables
Draw up a list of non-negotiables while navigating the app. While there are basic qualities that constitute most relationships – including honesty, communication, and respect, it is important to form a list that is relevant to you. Make use of the filters that apps provide to exclude people who do not meet your criteria in terms of religiosity or location. Prior to your first meeting, schedule a phone call to discuss your non-negotiables. When addressing topics you are apprehensive of, ask for the other person’s thoughts before revealing your own, as people often match their answers to fit your criteria when they wish to appeal to you. If things seem off during the call, trust your instincts and politely call off the meeting. While it is daunting to be straightforward about the qualities you seek, a phone call will help determine whether the person you are speaking with is worth meeting, saving you both heartache in the long-run.
3. Skip Social Media
By liking each other’s profiles, you have established your mutual attraction, and interest in learning more. Between the butterflies, pretty talk and undivided attention, you may feel tempted to reconvene on other social media platforms, but refrain from doing so. In my experience, people become more enthusiastic about knowing you after glimpsing your life on social media. It is crucial to form your opinions of one another based on who the other person is, void of any influence of their social media persona. You need to know that the person on the other side of the screen is interested in you for the right reasons; for your passions, your personality and character. This strategy also helps highlight more serious candidates who are willing to stick around and get to know you solely on the app.
4. Be Cautious When You Meet
You have been talking for a while, have established that you like one another, tackled some of the trickier questions, and are now planning your first meeting. Ideally, it is best to take a family member when meeting in person. If you do decide to meet one-on-one, pick a public location with which you are familiar and comfortable. Prior to the meeting, share your live location with a close friend, and have them message you at half-hour intervals to ensure that you are alright and provide you with an escape route, should you need one. Although most apps use selfie verification to ensure profiles are authentic, you are still meeting a stranger from the internet, so it is best to be cautious. If things go well, exchange phone numbers and discuss next steps.
5. Remind Yourself of Your Purpose
Online dating apps open up a world of possibility, and Muslim apps are no different, with people located globally within your reach. However, the gamification of online dating, makes it easy to sift through profiles and expect that you can “do better”. Adopting this view is detrimental to your wellbeing, causing you to lose sight of your purpose. Do not be afraid to take an online dating hiatus to remind yourself of your purpose; to find a decent Muslim who you are attracted to, compatible with, and share goals with. While dating apps make it easier to meet people, they do not accentuate compatibility. It is rare to form a deep connection with someone, so be sure to explore your connection with a perfectly good candidate, before considering the supposed “endless possibilities” out there.
By Sara Wasim