More Than Okay

I’m crying but it’s not because of you.

I’m crying because I never truly realised how beautiful the sky looked in the morning

Especially before dawn when I found time to make myself a peppermint tea,

while watching the rays of sunlight seep through the windows

Creating little rainbows in its wake.

I’m crying but it’s not because of you.

I’m crying because I’ve just noticed how glorious my kinky hair is,

Each coily curl a testament to my rich heritage.

And how my mud-brown eyes are actually molten pools of honey,

Warm and inviting, waiting for a chance to be appreciated.

I’m crying but it’s not because of you.

I’m crying because I now have a hobby

Like bird watching and playing the recorder

And riding a bike in the park with the wind in my face

And finally discovering what life is truly about.

I’m crying and I guess it is because of you,

But these are not sad tears but triumphant ones.

I’m crying because your presence is no longer here to torment or belittle me,

Because for once my tears — and future ones — will not stem from your voice, words or hands,

And I think I’m okay with that.

More than okay.

By Soso Ayika